I've been home since 27th May 2007. I've been keeping myself busy, accompanying my mother to work, go for evening walks, doing some gardening, tidying up the house, feeding and putting eye drops for Swea'D (my 9-year old daschund), going out to dinner with my family, accompanying my grandmother to the hospital. Yes, I've been very busy indeed.
Every night I go to bed feeling exhausted, both physically and mentally. I still have dreams, though. I still wake up at about 3am without fail, again at about 5am, and another time at about 7am. The inner turmoil remains. The fear remains.
I wonder how long would it take before I stop dreaming, before I stop waking up a few times throughout the night.
During times like these I remember a song from a few years back, "Bent" by Matchbox 20.
I'm afraid that I'm bent, and I'm so afraid that "I'll never get put back together", in the words of lead singer Rob Thomas.
I'm looking for a silver lining...