This Life

I quote an acquaintance of mine:

"and it is this balance that brings meaning to life...
for would we know the meaning of happiness if there is no sadness...
the joy of success and winning if there is no defeat ...
and appreciate light if there is no darkness ??
but one thing that i have learnt is that however long the night ...
dawn will eventually break ... "

Many a things have happened in my life recently...
Some not so significant,
Some more significant,
When I piece them together,
I think to myself,
What is my purpose of being?

I'm not thinking of ground-breaking discoveries,
Not about how the world works,
Not what the Buddha has discovered many aeons ago,
I'm far from Nibbana...
I just want to realise what I want out of life...
Out of living...

I haven't been praying much,
The turbulence of life sweeps me from day to day,
I hardly keep track of time or day,
I don't seem to recollect a recent time I've sat quietly,
To be still...

Even in sleep,
I am restless,
I wake up with thoughts in my head,
The feeling of fulfillment,
Is lost on me...

I've started to pray again,
For the people around me,
For my loved ones,
For the dearly departed
And I guess I'll pray,
For me...

To discover some sense,
To sense what's right from what's not,
To enjoy the here and now,
To be happy and healthy,
To be still...

This Life